Betrayal vs Cheating

Is betrayal the same thing as cheating? Not necessarily. There is some overlap, but let’s keep in mind that neither concept is ideal for a healthy relationship. Cheating is often thought of as “the act of”. For example, any type of sexual contact with a non-partner. Hugging, kissing, touching, even brushing up against someone can be considered cheating if the intent is sexually based. Don’t get me wrong, you can hug a co-worker during a time of need (say they lost their loved one). The main idea is your perception behind the touch. So, remember we said “the act of” with an emphasis on the intent. That means cheating also includes texting/sexting, emailing, messaging and talking to someone inappropriately other than your partner; these are actions with sexual intent.

Betrayal is acting in a way that if your significant other was standing next to you would never happen. Like what, you ask? Like telling a sexual joke at the office or buying an attractive person a cup of coffee. If you can’t go home and tell your partner what you did, then consider it betrayal. This paints a much broader stroke than cheating, right? Betrayal doesn’t have to have a sexual intent in mind, but don’t let that cloud your judgment. Buying that good looking person a cup of java isn’t out of the goodness of your heart otherwise you’d buy that college student sitting in the corner a well deserved mug!

Both are signs of poor boundaries and it is crucial that both partners are clear that their own boundaries are in need of changes. Betrayal and cheating are big….HUGE red flags of a relationship in distress. Consider what could happen to your relationship if these go unaddressed. These are priming the betraying/cheating partner for an affair.